Circles
by Leife
Summary: Lemon. End-game. Two parts. "How do you say you're sorry for ruining a person?"
1. Chapter 1

"Why are you doing this?"

The sound of her pleading voice felt like the edge of a sharp knife gliding through his chest. He furrowed his brows in quiet contemplation as he finished up packing the last of his belongings.

"You wouldn't understand," he replied dimly without looking at her. He could only imagine how the look in her eyes would kill him if he tried to face her. _This is for the best_ , he thought grimly.

Turning toward the balcony, he started toward the door with the intention of leaving the castle, leaving Alexandria, leaving her… forever. Before he could even take ten paces she was in front of him, barring him from reaching his predetermined exit. Blue eyes stared down at her with as much malice as he could muster, but in the end all he could put behind the glare looked like mild annoyance. He could never truly look at her with so much anger… not her.

"Please, I'll try to understand. I have a right to know, Zidane." He stiffened at the mention of his name upon her lips. Tears were falling down her cheeks, one drop after another. Her dark, soulful eyes bored into his with an intensity that made him uncomfortable. A flicker of hope crossed her features and he knew that he needed to quell the emotion right away before it could damage her more.

For the next few minutes, he continued to stare at her in silence. The air in the room became stagnant, which made it hard for her to breathe or even think straight. Her hands and forehead were pressed against his chest and she shivered before him. Not long ago, he would have gathered her into his arms and held her with all his might. He would have kissed her tears away and endlessly reassured her that everything was to be alright, but nothing was to be alright again; not now, not ever. He frowned slightly as he firmly gripped her shoulders and pushed her to the side. He wished for her to stay there as he marched over to the French doors that lead out to the balcony. His hand gripped the cool metal of the door handle, but the sound of her voice caught his attention. It was barely above a whisper, but he overheard the words nonetheless.

"Don't you love me anymore?"

Gradually, he turned around to face her. She sat with her legs pulled under her, white dress fanning out on the marble floor. Long, dark brown locks of hair fell all around her as she bowed her head. One hand clutched against her heart as the other steadied herself against the floor. She summoned all of the strength left in her body and forced it into that one arm. It was all that was keeping her upright.

 _How did this happen_ , she wondered? Just days ago, she was happy; he was happy. Or, so she thought. Had she missed something? A hint, a whisper, a gesture, a look? When exactly did he stop loving her? Could it be that she didn't give him what he wanted; what he needed? So many thoughts crashed in her mind like waves upon the shore. She swallowed hard and tried her best to raise her head to watch him leave, but her summoned strength was no good. She sunk a little deeper toward the floor, arm shaking, and waited for the sound of his departure. Her stomach twisted itself into knots as sharp pains resounded within her heart.

With a long sigh, he set his things down and slowly made his way to her. Crouching down in front of her form, he gently moved her hair away from her face. He felt a tug in his heart as she moved to lean into his touch. He startled and pulled his hand back. Anger for himself began to bubble up from his stomach and into his throat. He knew he needed to just leave. The longer he stayed the more he knew that his presence was going to cause her anguish. She stiffened at his withdrawal and he watched with sorrow as her body slumped even further toward the floor.

A sob escaped before she could swallow it down. She felt her heart slowly breaking. She felt as if the sun was setting forever. Tendrils of shadow began to grip the walls of her mind as memories started to surface. She thought of the first time that she had ever seen his face, the first time their bodies ever touched, the first time she realized that she loved him, the first time she had ever let herself go in his presence, and when she began to live as two instead of one. The feeling was suffocating; it was too much and too all at once and too heavy.

She felt herself let go as she began to fall toward the floor, but strong arms caught her instead. Zidane pulled her small frame against his and cradled her against his better judgement. Her whole body quivered against his, unable to stop the tears from flowing. She didn't bother wrapping her arms around him; he would only pull them away and leave her soon anyhow. However, she was determined to at least take in his scent and the way his body felt before that happened. Desperately, she decided to hold on to everything this moment offered, for her mind cruelly nagged at her that this may be the last time she would ever see him. Breathing in, she smelled the familiar scent of grass, cedar, and a hint of sweat. He was always outdoors, working out, or sparing with Steiner, and his scent reflected that. She vaguely recalled being unable to remember the scents of her mother and father; how they had disappeared over time. Even the edges of their faces were beginning to blur in her memory. A new wave of hopelessness overwhelmed her and she let out a pained cry that tore through Zidane's soul.

Her body never felt heavy to him, but this time he struggled to hold her up. He resigned to sit down on his bottom as he gathered her up and set her in his lap, arms encircling her in that familiar position that continually made her feel loved and protected. All she felt this time, though, was her heart tearing open. One would never know the intensity of the break, for it was mute, and what spilled out was not blood, but the very essence of her. All her joy, dreams, happiness, love… just poured out of her. She pondered if this was what dying felt like.

"Loving you is all that I know how to do," he whispered against her hair. He didn't fight the tears that fell. He knew it was pointless. He couldn't fool himself any longer. She needed someone who was always present, not someone who's mind drifted to the world at large. Gaia was his true lover and the adventure she offered was better than any sex he could ever have. Continuing with Garnet was only going to cause them both suffering in the future if all he could ever think about was leaving her to explore the world. It wasn't like she could just leave her royal duties behind and follow him to the ends of Gaia like he wanted.

"Then I'll wait for you to figure it all out. I'll wait right here until you're done running in circles." He looked down as she began to try and untangle herself from him. He let her go and watched her crawl away on hands and knees. She rested her back against the wall that was farthest from the blonde thief, knees drawn up to her chest, shoeless, with dark eyes gazing intently at him. He was right; the look in her eyes was killing him.

"You deserve better than me, Garnet. You deserve someone who will stay with you till the end. I can't stay here, in this castle, like you can," he tried to explain as he dreadfully attempted to lace his words with as much compassion as he could. He could not, however, completely mask the exacerbation in his tone.

"So, I'm not enough." It was more of a statement than a question asked. Her face fell and connected with the tops of her knees.

"Garnet, I can't do you right. I want to so bad, but I can't. I'm not good for you. I'm sorry, someday you will understand, but please don't wait for me. Don't waste your life like that," he pleaded.

Purposefully, she looked up and met his gaze once more. With as much power as she could muster, she forcibly replied, "Without you, my life is a waste."

He looked at her curiously as she continued, "I will wait for you, just like I waited for you once before. I will always wait for you and hope against hope that you'll come back to me, even though I know you won't."

"Be happy, though," she added. "Do what comes naturally to you and help people. You're happiest when you're helping someone."

"How can I help someone when I can't even help you," he asked from his place on the floor.

Garnet opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out. Instead, she leaned back into the comfort of her own body. Her slender arms wrapped around her knees in an effort to console herself, but it only caused new tears to fall. Would she ever stop crying?

Before she knew what was happening, she once again came face to face with the only man that ever meant more to her than herself. Ocean blue eyes watched her carefully.

"If I could, I would gladly leave this place to follow you, but I can't. I have too many responsibilities and you don't have any." Her sadness flowed into each and every syllable as she spoke. With his abandon, he took her ability to be strong.

"You were my responsibility and look what I've done to that," he replied with as much sadness. The corners of his lips lifted into a sheepish grin that soon fell as he felt her soft hand against his cheek.

"Can you at least tell me that you hate me? I don't know if I'll ever sleep again knowing that you are out in the world somewhere without me, still loving me," she begged.

He wondered if she heard the sound of his heart breaking. It was so loud in his ears that he questioned if all of Gaia could hear it.

Once again, he attempted to pull her into his embrace, but she fought against him this time. At first, she placed her hands against his chest and resisted his pull, but when he began to pull harder she began to thrash against him. The two struggled against one another until Garnet began to sob and scream at him.

"Stop, just stop it!" She threw her fist into his chest. "You're confusing the hell out of me!" He felt a thud against his chest as her fist once more made contact. "If you want to leave, leave. Just go and stop doing this to me!" He felt a sting as her other hand slapped the right side of his face.

But he couldn't seem to force himself to leave. He began to worry about what would happen to her without him there to love and protect her. Would she be alright? Would she ever love again? If she did, would he treat her right? What about her heart? Would it ever mend? What about his?

The sudden realization of the situation hit him like an airship. Did… did he want her more than he wanted Gaia? He shut his eyes. _Oh my god. What have I done?_

"I… I can't," he said as he began to cry. "I can't leave you."

The two fell against each other as they wept in each other's arms. Garnet wanted so badly to breathe a sigh of relief, but her stomach was still in knots.

 _So… that's it,_ she questioned. She was afraid that at a moment's notice he would change his mind again.

"I'm so sorry. I finally realize what I need; what you need." He tried to convey every ounce of regret and love into his voice, but how do you say you're sorry for ruining a person?

She gripped the front of his shirt as tightly as she could, gritting her teeth, while tears splashed onto her chest. An anguished cry escaped her lips as she pressed her forehead against his chin.

"I'm so sorry," he cooed. Lifting her up into his arms, he carried her to their bed. They both lay, side by side, facing each other. Their hands and legs intertwined as their pain washed over them. "I won't leave you," he promised.

"How do I know that you're not just saying that," she asked as she struggled to control her emotions. She was fully convinced that she'd never stop crying at this point.

"I'll show you," he replied.

Slowly, he reached his hands behind her and started to unbutton her dress. Their lips met in a chaste kiss that deepened the closer Zidane got to pulling the dress away. A profound blush spread across the queen's face as she felt a chill upon her bare chest.

"Zidane…"

* * *

A/N: I recently suffered an argument with a loved one and it got me thinking about the different kinds of pain I have experienced in my life. I started dissecting the emotions and this idea came to mind. I think the worst, most passionate arguments are had while sitting on the floor.

This is a borrowed idea from 14karatgold's stories Gravity and Stranger. Check out both of her stories, they are great. For a quick link, go to my profile and search under Favorite Stories.

This will be two parts. The story was getting pretty long so I thought I would break it up into two chapters. The second chapter will be uploaded once I am finished with it. I am still working on my writing ability so this is really just an exercise in description of emotions. It seems a bit dry to me, but let me know what you think. The next chapter will feature a lemon. Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

"Hush, Garnet," he whispered against her lips. Once the dress was lying on the floor, he took in her body. She had changed so little and yet so much since they were teenagers. Her eyes remained the same; dark, curious, and kind. Her soul also stayed the same, albeit wiser, and he was just fine with that.

Small hands moved to cup his face, bringing him back to focus. There they stared at one another, his hands upon her back with eyes locked. How foolish he had been. How could he have ever thought that all of Gaia was worth more than this woman before him now? Nothing in Gaia could make him feel the way she made him feel; he realized that now. Gaia couldn't hold him when he felt sad or send electricity through his body with a simple touch like she could. Gaia wouldn't care if something happened to him along the way. Only the raven-haired beauty beside him would notice the chill of his absence.

"Do you still want to be my girl," he whispered with a hint of a smirk gracing his lips. Unfallen tears seemed to dance behind her eyes, causing a shine to take to them.

"I will always be yours, you idiot," she replied with a soft giggle.

With that, he kissed her once more, his tongue dragging along her bottom lip, silently asking permission. Her lips parted and granted him entry. Their tongues danced together, but not in their usual display of dominance. He didn't want to dominate her tonight. All he wanted was to be by her side.

With one hand he brushed her silky hair away from her face as the other pulled her closer to him. Swift hands moved to his shirt and unbuttoned it with urgency. Shrugging the shirt off, he cupped one breast and then the other. Skilled, calloused hands gently kneaded her flesh and pinched and pulled at her nipples. Whimpers and moans filled the air and were like music to his ears. No, Gaia could never make him feel like this. She was right, he really was an idiot.

Slowly, Zidane repositioned himself to lay atop Garnet without breaking their kiss. Delicate, small hands caressed his back and chest before resting on either bicep. He had grown quite a bit as well since they first met. The thief ended up being over a foot taller than she and his frame filled out a bit more; something Garnet often admired when she thought no one was looking. A light blush erupted across her cheeks as she glanced at his torso, which in turn caused her to be very aware of the fact that she was crying again.

For a moment, time seemed to stop as the lovers lay together, forehead to forehead. Zidane closed his eyes and quietly willed her tears to stop. _I caused this_ , he thought sadly.

Eventually her tears did subside and she was able to clear her throat to simply say, "I love you."

Opening his eyes, he was met with the saddest look he had ever seen. Her eyes were still dark and shiny, but didn't seem to hold the soulfulness that they once had. Recovery would take longer than it took to damage her heart, he realized. He knew it would take time, but he was prepared to do anything in his power to help heal her, just as she had done for him in the past.

"I love you too," he whispered before capturing her mouth again. He proceeded to remove his pants so that all that was separating their bodies were thin pairs of undergarments. One hand remained wrapped around her body while the other brushed against the strap of her panties. Sliding a thumb under the string, he began tugging at the garment until it was half way down her hip. A soft whimper emitted from the dark haired woman as she paused against his mouth. Her face turned scarlet as she anticipated his next move. In spite of everything, though, she stilled as his fingers were suddenly caressing the soft nub of flesh between her legs. A shudder overtook her as she moaned at the sensation. It always made her blush and shrink into herself when he touched her like that. She couldn't imagine anyone else doing this to her.

Zidane took mental note of her wetness on his fingers as he continued to massage the soft nub of flesh with his thumb. He slipped his middle finger inside of her and began to make gentle thrusting motions. The sounds she made nearly sent him into a wild fit. Forcibly, he choked down the urge to ravage her right then and there. Her head was pressed back into the mattress while one hand gripped his bicep and the other white knuckled the bedsheets.

The setting sun began to cast shadows that danced a slow, kind of eager dance upon the walls of the room. Several hours had passed by without the two lovers taking much notice. The grand room began to darken and it was becoming harder for the pair or discern themselves.

"Please, please no more," she panted. The thief looked up into her eyes and glimpsed a small grin pulling at the curves of her lips.

"Please, I need more than this," she begged. It only took a second for Zidane to realize what she meant. He removed his hand from her and deftly whisked her panties to the floor. Once they were both naked, he moved to reposition himself atop her. He propped himself up with one hand while the other held his erection at her entrance. Absent-mindedly he began dragging his manhood against her slick folds as he looked to her.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded once and gently squeezed his sides with her thighs as a sort of _yes, go right on in_ kind of gesture. She felt pressure against her genitals as he guided his length into her. With all the emotions that had been circling the room, this sensation felt like sweet relief.

Lowering himself, their chests and lips melded together. The passion of the kiss and how it scorched felt beautiful. Her entire body burned when she was with him like this.

Finding a leisurely rhythm, he rocked his hips back and forth. Hearing her call his name between little gasps and moans was perfection. The faster his pace became the harder she gripped his forearms. Her little gasps and moans were turning into fevered cries for _more_ while his name was like a mantra sung upon her lips.

Their eyes locked and a slow burning sensation began to move through the thief. Burying his face into her chest, he took her arms and wrapped them around his neck. Placing his hands on either side of her bottom, he lifted her up and held her as he deftly repositioned to a sitting position, legs crossed, with the object of his affections seated in his lap with his erection still sheathed within her. She crossed her legs at the ankles and pulled his head against her breasts. It didn't matter if he wasn't enough for her, because in this moment there was no doubt that they both needed each other more than they could ever have imagined.

The guidance his hands provided in sliding her up and down his length created a delicious friction that threatened to swallow the couple as they danced in ecstasy. A small hand tangled itself into his straw-colored hair and forced his head back. Her hot breath mingled with his as their lips collided. Pressure began mounting steadily in her lower abdomen that threatened to spill over each time their hips made contact.

With a cry, her insides quivered and tightened around him. A white hot sensation ripped through her as her pleasure splintered and fractured all around her. Zidane gasped as his own climax followed closed behind. His jaw muscles tightened as he forced her backward toward the bed. Hands on either side of her head, he towered over her as he lost himself in the orgasm.

When both were spent, he laid atop her without removing himself from her. Garnet's heart hammered in his ear as he tried to concentrate on slowing his breathing. Small hands tangled themselves into his hair once again.

A wave of emotion ran over him as tears stung his eyes. He loved her; so much so, that the thought of trying to leave her again tore his soul to shreds. Removing himself from her, he gathered her up in his arms and moved her to lay beside him.

"I promise you, in front of whatever being that presides over us, that I will never leave you," he whispered against her hair.

"Promise, promise?"

"Promise, promise," he repeated.

* * *

A/N: Well, here you have it. StrifeVsTribal helped me edit the chapter and give me some pointers. Thank you!

It feels good to finish something. Enjoy and thank you for reading.


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